Get to the point.

Considering the epidemic of knife-crime (we used to call it 'stabbing' in the olden days) at the moment, this product seems in extremely bad taste. I've ordered two! (Not really) Get yours here.

Amazing?

I've just seen the teaser trailer for Spider-man 3. I'm beginning to get excited. It's not even out until May 4th (Star Wars Day!) 2007! It looks like we get Sandman, black cossie/Venom, Gwen Stacy and Harry as either Green Goblin II or Hobgoblin. Plus theres lots of shots of the bug-eyed Maguire looking constipated!
http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/spider-man_3/
P.S. Is it just me or does Kirsten Dunst look like Smashing Pumpkins singer/baldy freak Billy Corgan?
Billy Corgan
Kirsten Dunst.

Does this look septic?

Here's the final page of the Bond-esque prologue of Septic Isle.
It's taken longer than the others because I've been otherwise engaged swearing at footballers, and their useless manager on the telly.

No defence.

Generally, I'm enjoying this World Cup. I'm not, however, enjoying ITV's coverage of the event. Steve Rider is a twat. Gareth Southgate is a toady boring arsehole (I'm not at all bitter at the way he left Aston Villa). Kerb-crawler David Pleat's voice is like a rusted trundle-wheel. Every opportunity to stick in an ad-break is taken, and when they do, it's those two Budweiser Yank faux-commentators who are about as funny as chemotherapy and probably twice as annoying. The thing that annoys me most, though, is those stupid call-centre microphones the panel insist on wearing. They don't have to! The second string on ITV4 don't wear them! You won't see the BBC crew wear those. Which is just as well because it would make Alan Hansen look more like Captain Scarlet than he does already.
http://www.thejuicedoctordrinks.com/worldcup.htm

Escaping onto the big screen?

I've just seen this on "Dark Horizons":

Pulitzer Prize winning author Michael Chabon posted an update on his official site about how the big screen adaptation on his award-nabbing book "The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay" is going.The book follows two young cousins who create a comic book superhero named The Escapist, and in the process kick start the golden age of comics. Stephen Daldry ("The Hours") is attached to direct.Chabon says "The fate of this project--whether it will move at last from the nebulousness of pre-pre-production into really-truly pre-production, with a budget and cast and everything, will be decided on or around 12 July 2006. Miss Natalie Portman is a strong likelihood for the part of Rosa; other casting is ongoing, as are work on the script (a lot of cutting) and tests conducted by a number of top-drawer animation studios (for the comic book elements)".He also adds: "Quick answers (as of this date): Golem: yes. Antarctica: yes. Gay love story: yes. Ruins of World's Fair: no. Long Island: no. Orson Welles: no. Salvador Dali: yes. Loving reference to Betty and Veronica: no. Stan Lee: no".

It all sounds good except for the bleedin' ubiquitous Ms. Portman.

Don't ignore the signs!!

Coming Attraction!

Hi. Check out http://moonfacepress.com/ . They're the publishers of the Septic Isle comic I'm working on at the moment (though, not at this precise moment!) . There's a preview of my art on there as well. Go and look at the other stuff on there. Hero Killers is very good, and the Devil Child books contain art from Kenshiro Suzuki, Keith Burns, Duane Leslie and Jason Dennis, who are all mates of mine from the StripSearch scheme. (Another StripSearch alumnus, Mikey Ball, has his art featured in Shriek! [That sounds like I don't like Mikey! He's a friend as well, he just didn't contribute to Devil Child.] )
Go and buy stuff! Andy needs the money!

Pow! Biff! Part 3.

This is probably why sound effects are being used less and less in comics.

I love the way the panel reads "Captain America! I command you to-- WANK"

Priceless.

Also, I've followed BB's lead and got myself a Flickr account. Click on the badge in the sidebar and look at my drawings. Some publicity photos of me have slipped in, as well. Keeping my chiselled features to myself is just being selfish!

Dive! Dive!

I have now officially got rid of the taste of drawing Graham the Chiropodist from my gob. I have finally finished page 3 of Septic Isle. It's got motorbike jumps and guns in it! Woooo.

MC 2

Hello. Remember Never Strikes Twice? It's on this blog somewhere. The book it's part of, an anthology titled MC2 , will now be published by Knockabout Press. This is good news as it means the book will now have an ISBN number and will be available in shops and even on Amazon. Before we were just looking at flogging it at the conventions. It still won't make any money, but it'll flop less severely!
It will be out in October/November and contains contributions from John McCrea, Hunt Emerson as well as pieces from IMAF award winning artists Asia Alfasi and Michiru Morikawa.Dave Gibbons has seen it and has very kindly written us a nice quote for the cover.
Oh, and my story is in it as well. oh, alright then, I'll show you the piccies again!

Hardcore Mario!

"I've got just the tool to sort your pipe..."

Are we Dustin time?

Do any of you remember the high-top trainer/braces awfulness that was USA "comedy" called Saved By The Bell? Remember Dustin Diamond? He was the waste of skin whose only talent was to talk in an annoying voice. Luckily, that's all he needed to play Screech, the archetypal nerd character. Well, he needs our help.
http://www.getdshirts.com/the_story.php
Please give generously. The thought of his fingernails-down-blackboard voice asking me if I "could spare the price of a cuppa" is too horrid to contemplate.

England played a game of football today. It was against a team who were supposed to be much weaker than us, and it was the World Cup. You'd think we'd be up for it. You'd think the hundred-grand-a-week brigade would eat the Trinidadians alive.

No.

We were, at times, abject. We cleared off the line, Beckham's free kicks and corners were woeful, Crouch missed an absolute sitter. The big lanky strip of piss. Owen is still not right and it looked hopeless at half time.

Second half, and, surprise, surprise, Eriksson made a decent substitution. Lennon changed the game. Ten minutes from the end, the big lanky strip of piss scored and five minutes later, the previously anonymous Gerrard hit a beauty.

We're through to the next round now. We might even be group winners. I suppose it's better to play badly and win than to play well and lose. We can only get better.

A Bridge Too Far...

Here's page two of the forthcoming Septic Isle. I've been fannying around with Halle Berry, Wonder Woman and old ladies' feet a lot lately, so I'd thought I'd show you the stuff I'm good at.

Maggie's gems.

Yesterday, there was a sale of £10 million pounds worth of Princess Margaret's personal belongings, apparently to help pay Lord Linley's inheritance tax bill.
Why didn't they just take the empties back?

Give your Oscar back!

After her recent dismaying performances in Die Another Day, Swordfish, Catwoman, and X Men: The Last Stand, (and apparently,Gothika, although I know nothing about that movie) I reckon it's about time the Academy came clean and told the world they made an almighty mistake in giving the Oscar to Ms. Berry. I think she's perfectly nice to look at, but I reckon Nick Berry is more deserving of the statuette than Mrs. Mahogany. Anyway, I've found the perfect replacement for Halle should she decline a role in X4. See bottom photo. (Fnurr.)

I reckon Give your Oscar back will return! Are there any other Oscar winners that you think should return their award? Don't you think it's disgusting that Scorsese has never won one? Are you more disgusted that some talentless prick has got one instead? Let me know.

Pikey Paradises

If you've never been to Birmingham city centre, you are probably not aware of the Pallasades shopping mall. Situated directly above the Pritzker award winning New Street Station, it is a mecca for tracksuit wearing Cro-Magnons. As you enter the place ( via the ramp-Keep Left!!) it flatters to deceive: Woolworths, Holland & Barrett, HMV... all big chain stores. Keep going, turn left. I did today, and there is a kind of pricing war going on. Firstly, there is Poundland, the first and most well known of the Pikey Paradises. As you can guess, everything in there costs £1. Round the corner is the "99p Store". Every item costs 99p! Stick your extortionate quid, Poundland! Everything here is ONE WHOLE PENNY CHEAPER! Around another corner, though, and I kid you not, is the"98p Chinese Store"! It's like a backwards auction. Soon there will be a store where they will pay you to take their low quality, child-risking wares.

Feet are fun!!

I know none of you could wait to see my chiropody pictures. The hype has been excessive. I can now announce that they are done!
Drawing old people moaning about their feet has really worn me out. Chore I hate: Sketching podiatrists.
Anyway, here's the erstwhile Dr. Graham talking to an elderly lady who has correctly identified her right foot.

Foot Fiddler.

I'm currently busy doing my first professional commission.
DC? No!
Marvel? Get out of here!
Walsall Health Council! Yeah!!
I'm doing illustrations for a leaflet about chiropodists. I can't wait for my comp copy of that.