The Amazing Amazon!

Hi again! this post was at first going to be about my time at the Bristol Comic Expo, and I was going to take a cheap shot at the sad bastards who attend dressed up as their favourite character. To illustrate my point, I remembered seeing this Wonder Woman photo (left) many months ago, but I couldn't remember where I'd seen it, so I put 'Wonder Woman' into Google image search. Never before has the fact that a wonderful resource such as the internet is in the hands of a bunch of weird geeks been hammered home with such force.



Firstly, there are the kinda cute ones, such as WW reimagined in works of art,(see above) but still sad, in a harmless kind of way.
Secondly, we see Wonder Woman dying of AIDS (far left), in a French advert. Who thought that one up? I know that using popular characters can emphasise the point to kids, but Wonder Woman? How can an invulnerable virgin like her get AIDS anyway? Will Diana Prince get a visit from Princess Diana?
Thirdly, and this is what really illustrates what sad bastards are out there, are the sex pictures of Wonder Woman. The picture I've used (and I don't mean 'used' as in 'I use pornography'!) is a fairly tame example of what I found. There are loads of shoddy photoshop pictures of Wonder Woman getting covered in fluids; loads of shoddy photoshopped pictures of actresses in Wonder Woman costumes.(There was one of Aniston that is particularly bad.) There were a few explicit comic strips of WW having sex with various superheroes, and there was one of her getting raped by the Hulk, which may be morally and politically and legally wrong, I object to because Hulk is Marvel and Wonder Woman is DC! If Hulk was going to rape anyone, at least make it someone from his own universe!
I think my point might be to put SafeSearch on if you are looking for Wonder Woman pictures.

I might put a review of Bristol on soon, as well, soon....

www.sufferingsappho.com/

Septic Isle.

Hi. This is a preliminary sketch of some characters for the upcoming Septic Isle, a one-shot I'm doing for Andrew Winter's Moonface Press. I kinda like it. It's the story of Marley, an ex-superspy who has to come out of retirement to do battle with neo-nazis.
http://www.moonfacepress.co.uk/

Sunday, Bloody Sunday!!

For the past fortnight or so, my grandfather has been seriously ill, so a lot of my life recently has been spent travelling to and from the hospital. My last visit was on Sunday, which was two days ago. I wished I'd stayed in bed.
I was short of funds, so I thought that I'd go to the cashpoint en route. The fucker ate my card. I was absolutely potless, so I had to drag my poorly ( though, admittedly, not as poorly as Gramps) partner, the mighty Miss Maus out of her sickbed to come to the city centre and get me some money. After I met up with her and got some funds, we decided to grab a bite of lunch before I carried on with my quest to see my Granddad. On the way to some grub, what appeared to be the last surviving archaeoptyryx shat on both shoulders of my coat. Swearing profusely, I nipped to a pub to get rid of the excrement, which funnily (and runnily) enough, was two colours. The shite on my right shoulder was a chocolatey brown. The shite on my left shoulder was white. Maybe it was two different prehistoric flying reptiles. So, I'm in the toilet of a public house, washing my coat (whilst still wearing it) a good lather of hand soap on each shoulder, with Sunday afternoon drinkers coming in wondering: a) What is that wanker having a wash with his clothes on for? and b) Can you smell pterodactyl turd?
Anyway, one outwear ablution later, I finally get on the bus to the hospital.

When I get there, my granddad's name isn't on the wall. Fearing the worst, I ask the staff nurse what's happened to him. She tells me that he was sent home on the day before. Whilst I was glad that he was well enough to go home, I was fuming that no fucker could be arsed to inform me of the fact. I'd travelled all that way, lost my debit card, and got shat on by an airborne ostrich for absolutely fuck all. Then I remembered that getting crapped on is supposed to be lucky! So, whilst on the bus home, I excitedly got the unchecked lottery ticket out of my wallet. I got the winning numbers on my mobile phone, and would you believe it?

Fuck all.

Pow! Biff! part 2.

http://members.shaw.ca/tom.t/unh/index.html
A humourous index of comic sound effects. It's not as boring as it sounds. Promise.

Never Strikes Twice

These are the remaining pages from my story Never Strikes Twice. It will appear in the forthcoming MC2 magazine. Look out for it. Also here's a link to an article from TEN4 magazine which features yours truly. No pictures of me to look at though, but you can have too much of a good thing.
http://westmidlands.ideasfactory.com/ten4/pink.htm

The End Is Nigh.

Here are the spot illustrations I've done for the upcoming End Is Nigh #3. It will be available at the Bristol comic convention, or you can get it online. It's a high quality magazine about the end of the world.
http://www.adversecamber.co.uk/endisnigh/index.aspx

Come to Bristol next weekend. It's the place to be. I'm gonna be there, as will Colin Baker, the fattest and rubbishest of all the Doctors. Don't let that put you off, though.
http://www.comicexpo.net/

The only Midlands Premiership team.

May I just take this moment to share my feelings with you about the fact that Birmingham City Football Club have been relegated from the Barclays Premiership.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

I know Villa have been crap this year. I know that unless something drastically changes, we'll probably join Blues next year. But I reckon the moment our third goal went in against the scum was up there with the birth of my kids. I know it's wrong to feel happy at other people's misfortunes, but fuck 'em!

Normal impartial service will resume soon.

Pow! Biff!

Hiya! See that newspaper cutting? (Ignore the headline. I know it's crap. At least it's not of the 'Pow! Biff! Comics Grow Up!' type of headline that every other comic-related article tends to have.) That's me, that is. They're not all me; I don't have five interchangable heads like Worzel Gummidge. I'm the very slim, dapper, young-looking sex symbol in the middle. This was in the Birmingham Mail, my local paper, about a week ago. It could've been worse; I look nearly normal. My friend Mikey Ball (top right) had his full name printed, which gets him confused with a chubby chanteur who was in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and his photo makes him look like a sex case. The article is about the exhibition that I wrote about in a previous post.
Apparently, it was a success, but my phone is not exactly ringing off the hook with offers of work yet.
Do you need any comic art? Do you have lots of disposable income? Give me a call. I'm very reasonable. ( Certain people might laugh at that last sentence.)