Saturday, October 14, 2006

Reasons I Love Comics (issue #8): Stupid Merchandise.

Greetings, true retrievers! It never ceases to amaze me what the proper piss-smelling comics geeks will spend their hard earned cash on. Instead of soap, or a fashionable wardrobe, they will spend their money on Randy Bowen Busts, lifesize replicas of Batman's utility belt( actually, that sounded kinda cool, until I found out it really didn't have smoke bombs or high tensile climbing wire or a gas powered grappling gun!) or costumes for their dogs. I was directed to these pictures today, and they are cute, if a little bit sad. They reminded me of those Silver Age superhero pets such as Krypto the Super-Dog (avoid the new animated series-it's shit.) and Ace the Bat-Hound.
But why stop there with Superman, Batman and Robin? Why not have other comic-related doggy costumes? This gave me the opportunity to indulge myself in one of the things I love best; punning. There are already dog-based characters such as Strontium Dog and Jack Russell, also known as Werewolf By Night. But what about non-canine characters that I can make into a shit joke? Such as The Scarlet Bitch, The Blue Beagle, Doctor Mange, Tony Bark- Iron Man, Cloak and Dogger (Though that may have a seedier connotation), The Flash-hund, Kilodog, Collie-sus of the X-Men, Durham Redsetter and last and very much least, Labra-Thor!
I've enjoyed thinking of those rather too much. Why don't you lot join in? It's great! Let's see if you can do better than my eldest daughter, who came up with 'The Green Arrrroooooooo!!!!' (It's like a dog howling- it doesn't really work in written form. I thought it was funny, any way!) Steve-I know you won't let me down on this. See if there's any more non-Marvel ones out there, as I've wracked my brains, and come up with a few cacky ones. Also, you can't have characters who already are dogs like Fred Basset.


Jemima said...

Professor Shave-yer-puppy.

steve said...

Not that easy-

Price Namor- The Sub-WEIMERANER



Not bad eh? Quite a niche punning challenge.

mick said...

I'm Back!
Bloody Orange Broadband stopped me from using t'internet for two whole days!
'The Sub-Weimeraner' is just fantastic. hats off!
Professor Shave-yer-puppy is just bollocks.

steve said...

i see now that you've already used the red setter, but i dont know what durham red(?) is so mine's better. (rhymes)
sadly i did chuckle to myself about the sub-weimeraner a bit too much, but if you cant amuse yourself then whats the point of living eh?

i hope your not going to challenge my king of punning blog title?

mick said...

Your title is safe for now.

2000ad's Durham Red is a vampire mutant who started off as a fellow search/destroy agent in Strontium Dog but then went off in her own series and got totally ripped off by the PS2 game BloodRayne