What I've Been Up To.

Ahhh, there you are. Not seen you for ages! It's about time we caught up with each other. I've been a very busy boy in the last couple of weeks, so I didn't have the time to tell you about the man at my Favourite Bus Stop with his hand down the front of his jogging bottoms having a good five minute scratch and then having a leisurely sniff of his fingers. Man, I love Digbeth!

I didn't have the time to tell you about the four or five really sexually explicit messages I received through a dating site from a mad woman from Worcester. She went into really graphic detail (it was almost like a biology lesson) about the things she was going to do to me. Seeing as a lot of it involved shoving things into my anus, I politely declined her advances.

Worcester's too far away, anyway! Can you imagine having to walk back with a sore arse?

I also didn't have the time to tell you about the sudden death at 57 of one of my colleagues at work this week, which was a real shock, and strange to think someone you were talking to only the day before is no longer on the face of the planet. The next day, another colleague annnounced that he'd secretly got wed at the weekend (stupid pillock!) so a big portion of the workforce had a big lunchtime combined drink to the happy couple/dearly departed.

I didn't have the time to tell you that I might have a new flat, and I might have a new girlfriend(it's early days, yet) and therefore, might be moving on!

I didn't have the time to tell you about certain cartoonists I know (and work for the kid's comic The Beano) who, when had a few, find it highly amusing to draw tits and cocks on the photographs in the Guardian. I've kept the evidence. I wonder how much they'd give me to keep it out of the hands of D.C. Thompson? We can see the headlines, now: 'Beano In Tits And Cocks Shocker!'

We don't want that, do we? Actually, I'd love it if the Beano was a bit ruder! You could have Minnie The Minge, or Little Plums! Brilliant! (any more suggestions for rude versions of Beano characters are always welcome, I'd thought of Dennis the Penis, which doesn't quite work, and Plug, which already sounds disgusting, and reminds me of the Worcester woman.)

I've also been busy drawing away at Septic Isle, which is going well, except for a panel that's going to be redrawn, as it was rubbish! But that's no biggie, and I'm enjoying drawing it immensely, well, as much as you can enjoy drawing a story about suicide bombers and Neo-Nazis, anyway! Ah, well, back to the drawing board...