Saturday, March 24, 2007


Since the mother of my children and I split up (we're still arguing over who gets custody of her mother) I've had to go round all the websites I feature on and change any mention of my marital status, be it on a comic's website my bio is on or just changing my MySpace so it now says 'Single' instead of 'In A Relationship.' I even tried to tweak the 'Homunculus' cobblers next to my photo over there on the right of your screen, but Blogger won't let me get at it, for some reason.
I mention this because in the last couple of weeks, since I changed my status on MySpace, I've had a couple of women sending very forward messages to my inbox. One American lady in particular was very forthright, said I was 'cute' and that I should send her a message back through some internet dating site she's on. She's obviously borderline blind (she was wearing glasses in her photo) and a little bit mental if she finds my picture on MySpace in any way arousing (it's a picture of me scowling and raising a pint of lager to my lips), and I'm not particularly interested in a new relationship just yet.
Even so, I had a look at her profile online (it was free to join, so my fears that this was some clever advertising ploy to get me to part with my hard-earned cash were allayed) found she lives in Missouri or somewhere and I'm not really inclined towards a relationship which consists mainly of emails, and nothing else. Although, someone I know, who will remain nameless, seems to think that these internet-only relationships are the best thing in the whole world.
Having a nose around this dating site, all the people on there have a list of their qualities on their profiles. Nearly all of them say 'Confident, Outgoing, Intelligent', the usual bollocks. If that is the case then, why do they have to use online dating to meet people? Some people are that confident that they don't even post their picture on their profile! The rest of their profile is so astounding that I was already in love with them, so seeing what they look like is irrelevant.
Bollocks. What they probably look like is an elephant. (See what I did there? Rhyming!)
Don't get me wrong, it works for some people (two friends of mine met their wives through the internet. I don't mean buying them from the Phillipines, either.) and I'm not ruling out using the internet to get my end away, either, at the appropriate time. It's just a method of meeting people that wasn't around when I was last single, and it's going to take some getting used to.


cherry girl said...

Welcome to the nightmare of thinking about dating when you haven't for 'awhile' What's wrong with the old fashioned getting drunk and chatting someone up in a pub - it appears to me people are far too busy chatting to there mates than on the pull - how times change!

Putting single on myspace is going to attract nutters! Even singles put married on just to avoid floods of sexual advances.

mick said...

So you agree with me that anyone who finds me attractive is a nutter? Cheers!

The problem with me getting drunk and trying to chat anyone up is that I tend to become incomprehensible so the unlucky lady i'm talking to has to tune me in properly!