Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Rearranged Dates.

Last night I was supposed to see Nine Inch Nails at the Birmingham Academy with some friends. Trent Reznor had piles or something so the gig was postponed. One of my friends, let's call him Mark, as it's his name, had driven up from Bristol and so was a little miffed when I texted him to tell him it was cancelled. He promptly 'phoned me back, refusing to believe me and thinking it was one of my wind ups. After I convinced him it wasn't, we agreed to have a couple in my local instead, and after we finished watching a man sort his massive bagful of porno DVDs out in full view of everyone (he was getting them out and arranging them on the next cushion of the sofa he was sitting on), I told him my news about my changed marital status. This was when I might have insulted him.
I was telling him that I'm worried about going 'out on the pull' again. All of my friends are married or in serious relationships, so I'd have to go on my own. Going out on your own is rubbish and sad. Also, the whole notion of going 'out on the pull' is a bit wearisome, and when I'm out drinking, I hate watching the wankers who are trying to get into someone's knickers making a twat of themselves. It's all changed these days, anyway, because when I was last single there wasn't any of this modern speed dating or internet dating, and I find both of these things suspicious anyway. Also, I told Mark, women my age are either married, have kids, married with kids, and if they don't have kids, there's probably something wrong with them. Mark looked at me funnily. It was then I realised that he and his wife don't have kids, and he's my age. He forgave me though, as we've known each other since we were eleven, but I really must learn to keep my big, flapping pelican's beak shut.

P.S. It's a woman's choice if she wants kids or not. There's not anything wrong with women who don't want them. I was just being flippant, and I'm also trying to head off a sexism charge.


IanDSharman said...

Hey Mick sorry to hear about your change in marital status. Same thing happened to me over the summer. Take care of yourself.

(Oh, and feck going out on the pull...just get out be social, do stuff your interested ind oing, and you'll meet people who are interested in the same thing).

mick said...

Thanks for the kind words and the advice, Ian.

Thing is, I'm interested in drinking 'til I puke and swearing profusely. I don't really find that attractive in the opposite sex!
(Is it any wonder I'm dumped?!)

DanProject76 said...

The best way to pull is to not be desperate and trying to hard but I think you would agree from what you wrote in your post. If you're a great person then people will like you.

I have saved you the cost of a self-help book, hurrah! :-)

mick said...

Thanks for the saving, Dan. That's another £5.99 I can spend on beer.