Thursday, February 19, 2009

Brits.

I like to think I'm a cool dad. I like to think, because I'm younger than most of my daughters' friends' parents, that I'm more with it than them. But I'm not. I'm turning into my dad, and that's a scary thought.
I have my children staying with me at the moment, because it's half-term, and after the Villa match finished last night, my kids nagged me into watching the Brit awards. I've never really liked the Brit awards, they never have any of the bands I like on, or are they likely to, but there's usually something on there that might be fun or interesting. Not last night. What a load of old shite. Watching that, I realised that I've reached the point in my life when I hate everything about modern popular music. I'll soon be shouting at my kids 'Turn that shit down' like my dad did. I'll soon be telling them about how music in my day was proper music and this stuff today is just noise and that in my day at least you could hear the words, even though none of the statement is in fact true.
Admittedly, I didn't see all of the awards, as I was watching the Villa outplay CSKA Moscow but still only getting a draw. Maybe the first hour of the Brits was amazing. I doubt it.
I turned over to see Take That fly in on a UFO. Robbie Williams has spent most of last year looking for UFOs fruitlessly and all he had to do was swallow some pride and get on the phone to Barlow, who had one in his back garden. And they were miming. Nominated for best live act and they turn up to lip-synch to their god awful song. No wonder they didn't win. (Weirdly enough, Iron Maiden did! )
I hate Take That. I hated them in their heyday and I hate them now.I know they write their own songs and they've come back from the wilderness and all that shite, but because they came back successfully we had to put up with all the other disbanded once-popular manufactured boy/girl 'bands' coming out of retirement too. I could cope if it was just Take That, but it's Boyzone reunions and Spice Girls tours and all the other wankers releasing crap records.
Duffy won three awards. Don't know why, as she seems to be a watered down version of Amy Winehouse. A lot nicer to look at, though. Tom Jones give her her last award, banged on as usual about how great being from Wales is (even though he lives in Las Vegas and L.A. most of the time) but now he's chucked the Grecian 2000 away he looks like Count Dooku.
Coldplay were nominated for four awards but won nothing. Good. It's a crime they were even nominated in the first place. An ex-colleague once summed up Coldplay when he said 'Coldplay are trying to be U2, but U2 turned into wankers, Coldplay are wankers already'. Still, lots of people inexplicably like them, and I bet any hurt they felt at being snubbed is balanced by the joy of looking at their bank statements. Lucky bastards.
Girls Aloud won Best Single for 'The Promise'. They moaned that thay haven't won one before, but that's because they're awful. I wish they'd promise to piss off. I don't get Katy Perry either. She won Best International female for singing about kissing a girl. Big deal.
The show itself played safe and was fairly dull, no controversy, and the acts they had on weren't interesting. They teamed up the Ting Tings with Estelle and they did a medley of their own hits. I heard they only got Estelle because they couldn't get Rihanna, who couldn't come because she got beaten up by her fella, ella, ella.
The 'celebrities' they got to dish out the awards were awful. David fucking Hasselhoff. Gok fucking Wan. Alan pissing Carr. For Christ's sake. And as much as I like Gavin and Stacey, I thought the hosts were shit, and they're getting everywhere those two, like dogshit.
By the time that wanker Brandon Flowers turned up (wearing a dead pigeon on his back) to sing with the Pet Shop Boys (who were this year's Outstanding Contribution winners) I'd completely lost all interest in music. At least I've still got football.

But that's starting to piss me off as well.

4 comments:

Andy Winter said...

The Brits are always shit - it's the law. At least Keane and Snow bastard Patrol didn't get nominated for anything. Duffy's shite - a bland Diet Pepsi-advertising screech owl. Coldplay and all their fans should be lined up and shot. Kings Of Leon are OK but about as dangerous as the fucking Eagles. I liked the Pet Shop Boys, Girls Aloud and was pleased Elbow won something. Big hairy bollocks to the rest of it.

Mick said...

I saw Kings Of Leon at the Reading Festival a couple of years back and was unimpressed.

I think having Coldplay and all their fans shot is probably a bit extreme, seeing as my girlfriend is silly enough to own Coldplay CDs! I reckon we should just forcibly re-educate them all using a system not dissimilar to the Ludovico technique from A Clockwork Orange , strapping them to a chair, taping their eyes open and making them watch videos of insipid and dull watered down rock until they're physically sick of it all.

Andy Winter said...

Heather can live – the others must die. I think that's a fair compromise.

jamie said...

play her cud music as she sleeps.