Monday, August 21, 2006

The magic number.

Generally, I try to avoid memes. I think they exist to help waste time already at a premium. I like reading other people's answers, but I don't really like exposing too much of myself to strangers. Just the genitals, in parks.
I've been forced by the lissome lycanthrope loather Jemima Von Schindelberg to take part in this music meme. It involves naming five of your favourite songs that belong with a certain letter of the alphabet. Jemima shot her silver bullet at me and tagged me to name five songs that begin with any of the numbers 0-9. I don't remember numbers being in the alphabet before, but it's the future now, and there are people called John 5, C-3PO and Rocky Four mooching about. I was going to try being clever and use songs beginning with 'Pi', as that is a number between 0-9, but I couldn't think of any, much less any I like.
That's the general problem with this tag. Nearly all of the songs I could think of that begin with a number, I absolutely hate with a passion. No shock there, I generally hate everything I can think of. So I'm going to list why I hate these records, and once I've done that I might be able to come up with some records I like!
One Hot Minute by Red Hot Chili Peppers. Title track of a terrible, terrible album.
One Way Of Life by The Levellers. Back in my late teens/long hair and Docs days, this song would always come on at the esteemed Hummingbird nightclub (where I nearly always ended up) whenever I was lying in my own vomit. I also associate Move Any Mountain by The Shamen with being alcoholically unwell.
One Night In Heaven by M People. Harry Hill always did it better.
Two Can Play At That Game by Bobby Brown. Oh dear.I remember seeing this on 'Live And Kicking' and Andi "spell it with an 'I', it's wacky!"Peters saying how much he loved it. Having Andi "spell it with an 'I', it's wacky!" Peters liking anything is going to put me off that thing forever.
Two Little Boys by Rolf Harris. Never liked Rolf. He used to scare me as a child by lurking around swimming pools whispering 'Kids, they love the water.' before telling some scary anecdote about nearly drowning. And he can't paint the Queen properly. My Granddad likes this song, though.
500 miles by The Proclaimers. I tend to find being shouted at by two scots unnerving. Even if the effect is dimmed somewhat by them both looking like Joe 90. Another person with a number for a name.
Seven Tears by the Goombay Dance Band. Big shirts. Big hair. Big singalong chorus. Big load of shit.
99 Luftballons by Nena. Singing in German should only be allowed if you are holding a stein of lager in your hand and swaying. Or if you're Rammstein. Listen to Richard Cheese's version instead.

So, I can only think of three songs that begin with numbers that I like. I like One by Metallica, an anti-war song that ironically sounds like a battle. I like 2many DJs by Soulwax. They must be proud of it as well, naming their side-project after it. It's on the album Much Against Everyone's Advice . Check it out. It's ace. I like 7 Words by Deftones. It's on their first album, Adrenaline. It's kind of like Nu-metal but before Nu-metal and better than Nu-metal.Released on Madonna's Maverick label. Probably the only decent thing she's ever done is sign Deftones.
The fact that I can waffle on about stuff I hate for much longer and more articulately than stuff I like says so much about me.

7 comments:

Jemima said...

Dat bes funny.

DanProject76 said...

We all love to talk about what we hate and are so good at it.

jonni said...

"Therrrreee'ssss only, one waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy of lifffffeeeeee, and thasssss yurowwwwwnnn" - ooooh, I've fallen over.

No, never done that.

steve said...

i couldnt think of any off hand but my itunes could-

2+2=5 by radiohead
5.15 by the who
007 theme
and my favourite number song- 19th nervous breakdown by the stones
2000 miles by the pretenders is good too

i also like soulwax and think they are well underrated, although the follow up album was a bit disappointing.

congrats on the flyer job too!

mick said...

I thought of another one I like-
"9 to 5 at the morgue" by Dog Fashion Disco. A band that, like Soulwax, should be massive but aren't.
Pedantic nerd time: Is the 007 theme you're referring to the Monty Norman 'James Bond Theme' or the John Barry piece called '007'?

Whatever coolness I might've had left is now all gone.

mick said...

Oh, and cheers for the congrats.

steve said...

thats what its called on the cd. you pedant.